productive

today i kinda felt like i was on speed or something.. only bc all the stuff i got done today it was very productive. went to work went to lunch with alanna which was really good smoothie and mcdonalds fries (nasty but oh so good) then i went home did laundry cleaned my bedroom my other room (yes im spoiled) and my bathroom took a shower got my oil changed went to the dentist came home and washed my car and then watch embaressing videos of mark and then went to corner bakery for dinner brought michelle dinner at her work watched the moving waiting (sick) and started painting.

im pretty excited bc ive been meaning to do all of this stuff but school was crazy. i love having school off.

its not even 11 yet and i was wondering why i was tired...i did a lot today im pooped.

my dream last night

"you were born to be loved"

that was said to me...

what do you think it means?

confidence vs cockyness

so ive been thinking about this a little bit... confidence vs. cockyness. so i think that confidence is one of the most attractive things but i think cockyness is one of the most unattractive things. and is the line in between them very thin?




- i was thinking about this but didnt really feel like expanding on it.. ive been feeling a little blog blah.. but felt the need to post something.

an update of sorts

i feel now the ability to be positive just had to get my frustration on kinkos out. and it is out of my system.


life right now is interesting a bit different. i have never cared about school as long as i have been at school my social life and my friends have always come first. well this quarter...i have really had to work my butt off even just to come to class. i have been taking 5 classes and this week is finals needless to say i spent i think 5 hours at starbucks at 2 hours at kinkos yesterday. and the day before i went to 3 coffee shops. its been a bit hard bc i am an extrovert i feel energized by people well thats what i think about myself... and i havent been able to hang out with my friends as much as i wish. this next week i have no schoool and i am very very excited yesterday i took a little break and thought about the things that i want to do and who i want to hang out with...

1. i have a freelance job that i need to finish
2. the beach i do want to go to the beach and read.. even though i miss my friends i also feel the need to relax by myself
3. breanna doughtery
4. lindsay hansen
5. church
6. michelle rapp i miss her
7. bjs + chick flick to celebrate with the n.bf.d.p. (try to guess what that means)


i want to make it to my neices games ..softball soccer whatevers going on



ohh yes. i was thinking about when i graduate and how its really not that long away. i want to go to africa and london... do you think this will happen?

you cause me lots of frustration

yes kinkos i try to give you a chance but like its your duty i leave you frustrated using some words i dont like to use. i know that kinkos is probably for people that dont care about color and paper and that i should remind myself you are open at some locations 24 hours. i end up spending so much money there... well anyway i feel bad for hating you and i will try to work on this. or may be i should finish my homework at a reasonable hour where i didnt need to visit you and then i might appreciate you from a distance.

i love chick flicks..

yup i just wanted to admit that.. they make me happy and i want to see this.

friend segment 2

my dear loisa marie wright

Name: loisa marie wright
Lover: a lucky one
Hair: short black naturally blonde and if you look at her childhood pictures that a perm
Mother: becky... oh becky how much i love her
Father: micky...and i do love micky too!
Favorite Item: hmmm well a serious sentimental item her jack skellington statue
Dream Last Night: hmmm may be playing a gig at a coffee shop and looking in the crowd and they are all naked
Favorite Drink: fat tire and ginder ale.. oh and mohitos (dont know how to spell mo-heat-o)
Dream Home: hmm with me somewhere..anywhere. jk shoot montana..i think thats where she said.. fly fishing
Pets: Harrold troubles a cat and a dog sometime hopefully soon
Best Friend: carrie me josh ashley and her mother of course
Wishlist Items: an album with her name on it..well thats on my list
Favorite Weather: rainy..thunder
Favorite Book: ohh shoot i have no idea.. may be something by cs lewis. i dont know thats hard.
Favorite color: black!
School: vanguard
Song: something by muse or damien rice's blowers daughter or foo fighters ohh cake!


loisa has such a dear place in my heart. this blog will absolutley do no justice to what i think of her. i feel like she knows me almost the best. and i dont feel like i have sat down and told her this is me. she has done life with me. we lived together for 6 months. we live together so well. she tried to teach me how to cook and had tons of patience. she has seen me grow up a whole lot i feel. we have some of the best conversations. i love loisa for her. i think she is beautiful. i feel like i know her pretty dang well. i can tell within a second if she is uncomfortable. i think she does have mystery to her. i think she is wise. i miss her singing...leading me in worship at crave and her playing the guitar at home. she likes to threaten people for me. i feel like ive seen her heart. her dreams. her motives. her love for peolpe and true honest love. i like that she doesnt fluff thinkgs up she sees things pretty clearly. she is gentle though. i have dreams for her. i pray that she will know how beautiful she is. how much of an impact she has. she cares for people so much. i can go on and on. oh and she doesn't like cliches she rather you not say anything and be genuine then try to make her feel better and be fake. she likes my parents and i love that.. she even said she would do keroke with my dad. i am pretty dang lucky to be her friend and i almost ruined my chances with a skirt i chose to wear.

love you lo.

please forgive me

so i havent posted a bulletin in a while and i feel a bit like a hypacrit because i hate going to peoples blogs and the disapoitment that you have all been feeling when you dont see something new.

but the problem is im not really sure what to talk about.

i finished/conquered the craziest class i have ever and i think will ever take. and i cant really explain to you how i felt at 920 pm last night walking out of Y & R a company that we had to present are campaign to. giddyness overwhelmed me.

went out and celebrated last night. and it was so great.

what i want to do this weekend:
see the movie "the last kiss"
see molly jenson at the gypsy den on friday
see "blue like jazz" play
hang out with my friends and ya
take a couple hours and read
take a nap
laugh
have church
and get a good amount of hw completed

the story.. a little big longer

so seattle. writing this i feel a little like im trying to prove myself like i will wipe away any judgements you might have about me staying here. and i hate that.. but i do feel confident.. well as much as i can be in this.

long story short.

before when i had doubts about moving it was fear. i was afraid of change. afraid of being lonely.

but now its a story a little different. this is where im out: i am a student i have about a year left if i go full time. and i feel like im ok living in orange county as much as i whine about it. i am excited about my friends and church. i love them. and also the wise choice is that i can go there and have less to worry about if i wait a year or so when im done with school and will be able to have a real job.

its weird to agree with my parents. my dad was ok with it gave me the freedom to make the choice. and i think it really caught him off guard when i chose to stay. i am thankful for letting me live there.. time after time i move away. and they feed me dinner and buy me toothepaste. so i will take advantage.


my next goal is to get all my friends to move with me and then i can live with loisa.

me. what i want to learn..

i want to learn
how to guard my heart: sometimes i feel most comfortable bearing it all
to be vulnerable: i get scared to show people me
not to be anxious but to enjoy what is now
not to be fearful to be excited about change

solve the riddle

longer version of the story coming soon.

friend segment

so i got this idea from ms. cathi workman

so when ever i feel like it im going to pick a friend and say something about them...never an order of favor and sometimes it might be profound things sometimes just silly things.

the first person is going to be michelle rapp.



Name: michelle rapp
Lover: jon keene
Hair: short brown
Mother: kristi
Father: greg
Favorite Item: buster (her dog)
Dream Last Night: something super random and crazy
Favorite Drink: coke or cider from london
Dream Home: on a ranch in a small town
Pets: Harrold (turtle) Buster (dog) Vivian (cat..and i always make fun of her name)
Best Friend: mee
Wishlist Items: this bird she saw at this pet store
Favorite Weather: hmmm im not really sure hot but not too hot...
Favorite Book: she doesnt really finish books she gets bored... favorite book.. dont know
Favorite color: used to be light blue..
School: Golden West to be a hairstylist
Song: brick house. alanis morsette. salt an pepper. bright eyes. david crowder. lots of music.

michelle rapp and i have been friends since freshman year. i think thats about 7 years. its crazy. 90% of the time i hang out with michelle i get hyper.. dont know why? we are pretty silly together. we have some good dance parties. i think we understand eachother pretty well. we have opposite personalities and have been raised pretty differently but i think once you know someone for that long you just know who and how they are. i love that. she is camping right now with her family. and that is something that is so them. i love her family. they are the family that sing camp fire songs and fart around the fire. they have probably fed me more dinners then my own family. (dont tell my mom that) ive seen michelle grow soooo so so much. its really crazy and beautiful, to think about the girl she was at 14 to now is such a huge difference she has grown into herself. she is also the friend that is a total dreamer idealistic romantic :) especially when it comes to my life... and sometimes im like michelle emotional purity but its funny. and i do think i am very lucky to have michelle as my friend and i think a lot of people are missing out.

i love this girl a lot!

sad day

RIP lambchop

my fish just died. i think i killed it. may be shock. i cleaned his house out today like an hour ago and then i just went into the bathroom and he was laying on the top of the water.

poor little guy.

ceasefire

great news is a huge understatement. im sure you have heard of invisible children well if you are any way interested in that orginaztion then check this out.. Uganda Ceasefire

amen